Metamorphosis

MCSquared got me a laptop.

For the past year (give or take a month) I haven't wanted to blog. I was going through some things in my life and I realized.... there are some things so deeply intimate in your life - that even if you didn't mean to discuss them in your daily life (you know - the life where you automatically put a mask on your face and remotely answer "fine" when someone said "hello" rather than "how are you" because you really aren't paying attention - life) they still seemed somehow to leak no matter how you tried to keep those worlds apart?

That was happening to me. I started reading my blogs from A Case of Dyang Part Deux (not A Case of Dyang - which I didn't really start this transformation in yet...) - and I was like - wow.. bummer.. Maybe I was the last to know that I was leaking... all over the place. Like a cup that runneth over.... or a vase with cracks.. Or maybe even that freakin monstrosity of a dam in chiner...

I was leaking.

So - I had to take another step back - and assess. My life - seemed - at that point - a series of step backs. A series of "time outs" if you will.

And now I'm back.

Transformed.

Not perfect. Not even better, necessarily. Just different.

It wouldn't be accurate to say that I changed into a completely different thing, as metamorphosis implies. My outsides are still the same. Some of my insides are as well. But - there is something fundamental that has changed - and it's kinda like it's different only because of the way the light hits it. I'm not necessarily just the object. I'm also the light that lights it. I've changed the angle of the light..

Suffice to say - I'm not going to go into much detail. It's not like you were holding your breathe for a full year to wait and see what mysteries prevented me from blogging. I just thought - if there were people out there reading - or were going to read in some time in the future - this hiatus deserves some sort of explanation.

And the explanation is simple.

Metamorphosis.